It weighs on me like a lead vest, lying pronate in a doctor’s office waiting for the click-whir of an X-ray machine. What are we looking at? Anticipation is the run-up to a distinctive moment, a grand reveal that holds thousands of potentialities but a singular result. Anticipation is excitement and doubt. It’s anxiety. It’s …

Frustration. It chases me like a pack of dogs up a hill. I’m easily frustrated. With anticipation’s furlough, fury boils in its place. Frustration pushes me to the edge and howls at me ceaselessly for my inability to jump. It’s the same recipe for anticipation, except loathing replaces anxiety. Frustration is the excitement of the …

Failure. Racing is practicing the art of failure. Deciding to race is actively placing your fragile ego in an environment surrounded by goliaths with foam-padded bats who have every intention to maul your sense of self-worth. Failure is the process through which you supersede your frustrations and allow yourself the opportunity to gestate. Gestation is …

Achievement. To succeed is to be wholly elated with an outcome. It is a feeling of accomplishment, a flawless agreement in the causal chain. If I prepare and if I train, then I will deliver a result commensurate. I have trained hard, ridden fast and far, and to be the fastest is the only desirable …